The actor opens up about the blurred lines between fame, fiction, and real love during his early 20s—and how it shaped his path to emotional maturity.
For Penn Badgley, life on the set of Gossip Girl wasn’t just about playing a role—it was about navigating the intense overlap of work, love, and personal growth in front of millions of viewers. The actor, now 38, recently opened up on the April 23 episode of the Call Her Daddy podcast about the challenges he faced while filming the hit series and dating his co-star, Blake Lively.
Badgley starred as Dan Humphrey for all six seasons of the show, which began airing in 2007. At just 20 years old, he found himself not only gaining fame but also beginning a real-life relationship with Lively, who portrayed Serena van der Woodsen, Dan’s on-screen love interest. The pair dated off-screen from 2007 to 2010, mirroring their characters’ complex romance.
During the podcast conversation, host Alex Cooper asked if Badgley found it difficult to separate his personal life from his work while filming in New York City and dating Lively. Badgley’s answer was candid: “That’s a great question because it was the struggle,” he admitted. “When you do a television show, you’re doing it constantly.”
As his fame grew, Badgley found it increasingly hard to distinguish himself from the character he played. “There is not enough separation, I think, for anybody,” he said. “You’re seen as this person, you’re called their name out on the street. You also constantly have to be that person at work.”
He explained that, in his early 20s, he lacked the emotional maturity to separate his identity from Dan Humphrey. “What people seemed to think of Dan seemed to be what people thought of me,” he said, reflecting on how deeply the role began to shape his sense of self-worth.
Before his relationship with Lively, Badgley revealed he had endured a difficult teenage romance. “That marked me,” he shared. “I remember thinking when I got out of it at 19, ‘That was a way to start it all. I wonder what effects it’s gonna have on me.’”
The actor, who grew up amid his parents’ divorce, also said he often felt “starved for many kinds of intimacy,” which made him seek deep emotional connections in his romantic life. “Dating is a bit of a performance, I think,” he mused. “I really longed for that kind of connection, that kind of intimacy.”
Badgley went on to have three long-term relationships throughout his 20s, the third being with his now-wife, Domino Kirke. The couple is currently expecting twins, and Badgley credits their instant connection with changing everything for him. “When we first met, it was immediate,” he said. “And before we had time to think, I think we wanted to be together in the deepest way.”
As Badgley prepares for the final season of You, which returns to Netflix on Thursday, April 24, his reflections offer a rare, heartfelt glimpse into the emotional complexities of young fame, love, and the search for identity in the spotlight.
